UPDATE! Finallly! (:

i work backwards from nowhere
don't opposites attract?
i've got no friends and blank stares
that could make my heart attack

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them then they're right, you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

she knew the well was far too deep
for him to wet his lips
but something told her that he spoke
of so much more than all of this

they can take, take, take the kids from the summer
but they'll never, never, never take the summer from me.

we're supposed to love everyone
but things start to get confused
when it comes to the human mind
and people start dropping bombs
like 'today is too late' or 'farewell old friend'
and god damn i just want to feel a little safe

"You see, . . . you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too — even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling"

august, august of last year
before the leaves disappeared
you told me you were not the one.
in august, something in your eyes
or was it that july?
told me not to take it to heart

you are new and near now to someone you used to love
when you were young; when all was gold and you two touched
and felt the flutter underneath your skin. you stood in glowing
rooms, the light dripping from both of you.
and nothing since has felt as radiant or real.

Let's go, I just wanna let you know,
This situation leaves me outta breath
We'll drive till the love that's in your eyes,
Drops to the ground,unravels like a thread
I know that you really wanna go,
I only think about her, must get to her, cannot lose her.
You know that I will not let this die

And if yesterday night you would have cared to come, I still would have felt alone. Though you would have been lying next to me, I still would have felt alone.

And God it hurts me to think of you for the light in your eyes was gone
sometimes I don't know why this old world can't leave well enough alone

how long can i count to a thousand?
i tried drinking but the bottle is still empty, i can only hope for a fresh one
you tried loving but i guess you could not love me
how long can you count to a thousand?

She says baby
"It's 3 am I must be lonely"
When she says baby
"Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes."

I hate to break it to you but if apathy defines my generation, yours is defined by disappointing us to where we don't even see the point anymore. The best minds of your generation gave up a long time ago

I mean, I spent years and years and years convincing myself that these puzzle pieces added up to a flower, and it wasn't at all. And once I woke up, I realized: 'How do I trust other pieces? How do I take new pieces and put them together with this much, you know, vigor that I once did, because, what if they're not a flower either?

you pull back your curtains
and the sun burns into your eyes.
you watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.
this is the day your life will surely change.
this is the day when things fall into place.

and when we got there, this is what she said to me:
"love and war, in heaven and in hell.
you get what you deserve. you'd better spend it well.
all is fair in love and war and love,
a civil war like this, it always sells itself."

I never thought that love could come true.
Driving 'round the city in your car,
Down low in the seat,
Coming home and getting into bed,
Smiling in your sleep.
I'll never love no one the way I loved you.
You've never loved no one, have you?

to walk within the lines, would make my life so boring. i want to know that i have been to the extreme. so knock me off my feet. c'mon now give it too me. anything to make me feel alive.

When I'm with anybody else it's
so hard to be myself.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

I'll find your hand and trace it with mine.
As we push away with everything we have...
With everything we have left.

so leave me alone again and take me for
granted, take every little piece you can
get your hands on, get a hold on.

It is not true, what they say about writing being the next best thing to being there. For days I stared at that postcard and touched it in all the places I imagined you had, when you wrote the address and affited the stamp and what have you, but never once did I feel like I'd found you again.

How could you believe in someone sorry sad like me
I know the deal and I thank you anyways
And if you leave, you know I'm crawlin' at your feet
You never get weak when I'm leaning hard on you
And I guess that's just the way you are.

The door slams I wake up
Another illusion I have made of this
I cry, I swept away every tear that I've cried
And I swear this was your choice
So save me from falling with the sound of your voice.

sometimes, people are like god, and they really don't exist. unless you aim for my heart, you will always miss.

if you don't know, honey
why don't you just say so
'cause i need this now,
more than i ever did
if you don't,
well, honey, then you don't

wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything

this place feels so unfamiliar,
yet i know it well.
i think i used to belong here,
but the only way i can tell
is that i miss you still
and i cannot find you here.

i love how your eyes close
whenever you kiss me
and when i'm away from you
i love how you miss me
i love the way your kiss is always heavenly
but darling, most of all
i love how you love me

I cannot find the heart I gave to you.
Sometimes what we think we really want we don't.
Sometimes what we think we want we really don't.
Sometimes what we think we love we don't.

And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.

i talked so much, i'm sure
i didn't realize i'd gone crazy.
didn't catch my bloody nose
or that my heart tried to explode.
i still live with my high school friends,
some people never change at all.
we're still the same compulsive drunks
we were when we were small.
someone get this man to a hospital

if i find my way through the darkest of days,
will i laugh about the things that kept me awake?
if my greatest fear paints itself so crystal clear,
will i run away or will i hide?

she said, 'if we're gonna make this work,
you gotta let me inside even though it hurts.
don't hide the broken parts that i need to see.'
she said, 'like it or not it's the way it's gotta be,
you gotta love yourself if you can ever love me.'

i've never wanted you so much as i do right now.
i can't believe this is happening to me.

can someone please just shake the lies out of me?
it seems that every word i say don't mean a thing.

i'll make sure everything is alright.
sit tight. don't you say a word.
see the earth turn. take a breath,
and stare like you have
never, ever seen the world.

she said "i'm so much better"
blue font and big bold letters.
and i would be lying if i said i didn't care.

You do not know how much this hurts me
To say these things that I don't want to say
But have to say them anyway
I would do anything to end your suffering
But you would rather walk away

just give me a scene where the music is free
and the beer isn't the life of the party.

And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

if asked what I thought I knew, you know I'd say
just love and be loved in return
i stole that but it's okay, it's true

You can write my place
Out of the life you make
And all the things that mattered
When you knew my face
Cross off all the ways I failed you
Cause I failed you
But I'm still in your blood
You're still in my blood

Because as we all know, that's what really matters. In a scene where the music has taken a backseat to the haircuts, you win and I lose.

breakfast of two valium and the rest of them rattling in your pocket, walking down the street to your work. won't answer the door without looking out the bedroom window first.

a stronger girl would shake this off in flight,
and never give it more than a frowning hour.
but you have let your heart decide.
loss has conquered you.

you need to know your friends
you need to know that
i'll be wavin my hand
watching you drown
watching you scream
quiet or loud

And forever isn't long enough
To get over giving so much up
To someone who will throw it all away
And a smile can only hide so much
And I choose death over your touch
I fell head over heels into my grave

today, dressed up in designer drugs
dedicated to the one i'll always love,
the one who really messed me up.

don't waste your time
speed up your breathing
just close your eyes
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all

Your holiness is gone
Sometimes love will make you sad
Until you know where you belong
You'll dream of what you never had

In my dreams we fly away from all the pain and school bell rings to a city that never sleeps and I can see you smile all day. And I can show you just how beautiful complications can be. From the roof top I can lean in close and whisper in your ear, "Can you see? It's not the same. The stars are spelling out your name. And the moon can only frown because it will never be as beautiful as you"

i'm not leaving this place
unless i'm leaving with you
'cause you're the only person
with a half-decent heart
and i know you'll put it to use.

i don't care if you leave or stay, but you
might as well split - because it's not the
same as it was when we said our last
goodbye. and if you want the truth:
i was hoping one of us would pass away
cause it'd be much easier then, we would
all get together and think about when
we were young, we were dumb,
we were numb but in love.

When I passed you in the doorway, you took me with a glance
I should have took that last bus home but I ask you for a dance

you were everything that's bad for me
make no apologies
i'm crushed, black and blue
but you know i'd do it all again for you

And in the morning I'm leaving, making my way back to Cleveland
So tonight I hope that I will do just fine
And I don't see how you could ever be anything but mine

God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

I don't know, is it me? am I imagining?
tell me, don't you feel anything,
when you're here lying beside me?
and now you're telling me
that it's late and you just gotta go
why is it that you only wanna leave
at the point that you think
that you might be falling in love

i feel like i've been losing you
each night it ends too soon.
you dont hold me like you used to,
& your eyes look like they've
seen too much. cause its always
some excuse, too tired too obtuse.
you look so far removed.

under one umbrella
just talking and joking
and i knew that i'd love you
for as long as you'd let me
and i haven't caught my breath
since the moment that we met

You make me wanna be somebody else
you make me wanna smoke a cigarette

if you are chilly, here, take my sweater.
your head is aching, i'll make it better.
cause i love the way you call me baby,
and you take me the way i am.

"why are you so far away?" she said. "why won't you ever know that i'm in love with you?"

is there a remedy for waiting for love's victorious return? is there a remedy for hating every second that i'm without you?

tonight my lungs are hanging
from a telephone wire,
choking on the broken
digits of a dial tone.

it's so hard to see when
your eyes are rolling in the back of your head
it's even harder to speak when
everything you say just comes out wrong.

I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
Be the hand that lifts your viel
Be the moon that moves your tides
The sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheel that never rusts
Be the spark that lights you up
All you've been dreaming of
And more, so much more
I wanna be your everything

and when twilight turned darkness.
i was unsure of where to go.
the salt burns my skin,
and your eyes were cold as the ocean.

she's beautiful in her simple little way
she don't have too much to say when she gets mad
she understands she don't let go of anything
even when the pain gets too bad
guess i should've been more like that

this month i died a little every day
but i'll smile, just for you
so you don't have to see me this way

gave her a fraction of all i had to give
i guess i hold a grudge cause you still got my rib
with your beautiful eyes, unscrupulous lies
now watch the circus clown run around in circles and try
seems like all i get to meet is hope
girl, if we got along better, we'd be dope

she says that she still wants a friendship
she can't live her life without me as a friend
i can't figure out why i give a damn to what she wants
i don't understand the now before the then

 I chased after sugary spoonfuls,
shot them down with bottles of rocket fuel.
I got the idea there wasn't a thing I couldn't do.
I got the idea that that I could stay ahead of wolves.

when you're staring at the ground
wishing that you didn't know
what i'm really thinking
you wont even look at me now
say you'll never leave
please

I swear to you, on everything I am,
And I dedicate to you all that I have,
And I promise you that I'll stand right by your side
Forever and always until the day I die.

"but, in a way, we're just closer being friends."
"you are? good. you are."
"we are, and if not, there's always the boomerangs."
"the boomerangs?
"yeah. you know the kind. you throw them out there into the world and they always come back to you."
"yeah, that's right."
"he bought us each one, and we promised never to throw them away. so no matter what happened, if we needed to, or wanted to, then we could still end up together."

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

the signal is subtle. we pass just close enough to touch.
no questions, no answers.
we know by now to say enough,
with only simple words. with only subtle terms.
the things we feel alone for one another.

I tried to tell you before I left
but I was screaming under my breath
you are the only thing that makes sense
just ignore all this present tense

we've seen the sunrise with new eyes,
we've seen the damage of gossip & true lies,
we've seen the sun go down.
had passionate makeouts & passionate freakouts,
we built this world on our own.
it was in the back of a taxi when
you told me you loved me & that i wasn't alone.

And in the absence of a lover, I find myself fishing in a harbor with my voice as bait. In a dingy with a hole and a busted engine so it looks like I'm sinking to the bottom of the sea. Yeah, I hear there's plenty of fish in the ocean, but let me tell you, it means nothing when you don't know how to swim.

maybe in five or ten, 'yours and mine' will meet again.
straighten this whole thing out.
maybe then honesty need not be
feared as a friend or an enemy.
but this is the distance and this is my gameface.

so you're taking these pills to fill up your soul.
and you're drinking them down with cheap alcohol
and i'd be inclined to be yours for the taking.
and be part of this terrible mess that you're making.

i left you in the morning still drunk on melodrama.
you're so pretty, so natural but i had to salvage honor.



this boy i know, he has a heart of glass.
it is gold inside but it has crystalized.
it is beautiful but in it's tragedy.
it is hard to hold without shattering.

walkin' to the south out of roanoke, i caught a trucker out of philly, had a nice long toke. but he's a headed west from the cumberland gap, to johnson city, tennessee. now i gotta get a move on before the sun. i hear my baby calling my name, and i know that she's the only one. and if i die in raleigh, at least i will die free.

if i could open my mouth wide enough for a
marching band to march out,
they would make your name sing.
and bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

he calls so late tonight, it is 4 a.m.
he is drunk, he can't find his apartment.
i don't like how it feels when i think of him.
all hooded in black, lost and stumbling.

your eyes are brighter than the sun.
they make me see that you're the one.
your smile takes my breath away
and leaves me with nothing to say.

"what's worse, not getting everything you wished for
or getting it and finding out it's not enough?"

It was more work than it seemed, looking through a telescope, as the Earth was continually moving and you had to move along with it. You don’t realize how fast this actually happens, and it’s kind of both creepy and wonderful when you stop to think about it. And it makes you realize there is absolutely no way to avoid change. You can sit there and cross your arms and refuse it, but underneath you, things are still spinning away.

Well maybe I'm just scared, scared to let you go
I want you to know, right from hello
your love just kept me wondering
Well maybe I'm just tired, tired of never knowing
I know I'm not good enough for you

It's never, ever been better than this. I hung my shirt on the floorboard, wrinkled up from pulling, pushing, and tasting.

once again your eyes make it hard to ask you why
so i sit here knuckles tight. hands against the wheel
your head against the glass and you mean so much to me

i put one hand on your round ripe heart
and the other down your panties
everything is falling, dear.
everything is wrong.
it''s just history repeating itself.
and babe, you turn me on.

this happiness surpasses me,
just running up and down my spine.
whenever i'm around you,
my smile beings to shine.
the love i feel for you
is quite hard for anyone to find.
you're the one that I want to wake up next to.

we're one mistake from being together.
but let's not ask why it's not right.



she gets what she wants
and she breaks what she gets
get out while you can
or she'll tear you to pieces

And so should I and every other girl who is tired of playing their game by their rules. "Don't be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light; don't be too sexual, or too chaste, or too smart, or too dumb." Be yourself. But make sure you fit in.

you just wanted a solution
you just wanted to be missed

and it is true what you said,
that i live like a hermit in my own head.
but when the sun shines again
i'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.